Day 3: Entertain to Overcome

As I sit on my laptop in this very moment, being home is the last place I want to be, and writing is the last thing I want to do. How can one have such a fulfilling day, yet feel so lonely? My craving for the affection of a man is most overwhelming, as I deprive myself from such. I know if I can just get through the next 10-15 days I'll be over the hump, and experience transcending inner strength, but for now I would say I'm most certainly experiencing detox. I want so badly to share the great day I've had with another, unwind and watch a movie while cuddling. There is nothing wrong with this, but until I can thrive without it I'll never be my best self. (Relying on another for fulfillment is detrimental. I know. I've been there. Let's shoot for healthy).

So here I am. Striving to thrive.

I just got home from Orem, where I was helping my friend at the"What Women Want" expo. I have a kind, respectful and (aaahem) beautiful "friend" who lives just down the road. It was all I could do to get in my car and drive home, despite the incredible craving I had to just drop by and say hi. Had he asked me to visit him I'm not sure I could have said no. I'm, both, slightly disappointed and immensely grateful he didn't.

I forced myself to drive straight home, where I could accomplish my daily goals and get to bed at a decent hour - experiencing true fulfillment. Sure, it wasn't the instant gratification I would have received by visiting him, but as I sit here and type I feel stronger by the minute, and proud of myself for resisting temptation and choosing delayed gratification over the transitory alternate route.

I love a scripture I keep on my fridge that reads, "Blessed is the man that resisteth temptation; for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him." (James 1:12)

On another note, my Lia Sophia party last night was incredible, and the support shown by friends (and my sister) left me overflowing with gratitude! It was all I had hoped for and more: Games, laughter, bonding and girl-talk. Not only was my loneliness quenched, but the synergy experienced left me completley invigorated and satisfied. It may seem small, but I feel I conquered a great feat. I would have never planned a girls night as a married woman, and this was out of my comfort zone, but the triumph in trying certainly trumped surrendering to my fear of failure.

TODAY'S FOCUS: Entertain. As much as you may not want to... entertain. Just once. You may be pleasantly surprised and even elated by the results (I know I was). Get over your excuses (My place isn't nice enough, what if no-one comes, hosting is too much work...) and, as Nike would say, JUST DO IT! (Yes, I know that was cheesy). Invite people over to watch the big game, to enjoy pizza and a movie, or to play card games into the wee hours of the night. Even if you only invite two or three people, what could be more delightful than spending time with those you hand-pick?

So dust off the board games, pull out the china and celebrate - and if the best excuse you can come up with is "Sorry Charlie" day, "Metric System" day, or "Blah, blah blah" day - then go with it! (Yes, there is a "blah, blah, blah" day. April 17th. I'm so bummed I missed it... could have been a great party). Check out this awesome website for an excuse to celebrate every day of the month. Get eccentric with it, baby!

QUOTE: "Every time you open your doors to people who bring in laughter and affection, you get to keep some if it after they go." -Victoria Moran.