Day 11: ... where was I again? Oh yes. Acting out.

I just finished a delectable bag of Guittard chocolate chips. WHAT? Don't look at me like that! It was between men or chocolate, and I choose the lesser of two evils. (sorry men. But really...) All I can say is it's a good thing my baby's sleeping or I'd go to the store and get more. Yeah - you heard me!

What day am I on again? Oh yes. 11. Today was...

Man I've lost my focus. Truly. I tried to get myself going all day but I couldn't seem to focus for the life of me. Started my day at 6:30am. Got ready - hair makeup and clothes. Nothing. Went for a drive. Nothing. (Actually, I got my first speeding ticket so "nothing" is not exactly accurate). Ran 6 miles. Nothing. Played with my baby. Noth... ok... that was a blast! But REALLY! My focus is GONE! I accomplished near nothing and I gave in to my loneliness, allaying the pain with chocolate. (I barely even LIKE chocolate)!

I must admit, I slipped a bit today. I chatted with a guy online. However... we're friends and he's pretty much a dork so I don't think it counts, do you? (You know who you are. Yes you! Stop smiling, it's not funny. You seriously make me mad).

TODAY'S FOCUS: I just TOLD you I've lost my focus! Ok fine - here goes. Often we classify acting out as an act of rebellion when, in reality, acting out is anything we do to avoid facing the real issue. Over-eating, over-sleeping, over-spending, an eating disorder, addiction, or any destructive habit are all sure signs that there is an underlying issue. Take time to discover the culprit, then resolve to overcome it - one day at at time.

As you find yourself craving the false comfort, pull back, regain control and deal with the problem appropriately. Sure you lose instant gratification, but the reward for resisting is success, and with each success you grow stronger, until resistance becomes triumph. I like victory.

In my loneliness, turning to men would have been acting out - as that's a habit I'm trying to overcome. Eating chocolate, however, was simply coping. There IS a difference ;). Besides... "I could give up chocolate, but I'm not a quitter."

QUOTE: "It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man." -Miranda Ingram (I'm really NOT a man hater, but I couldn't resist).