Tonight I visited with a girlfriend who's in a sub-par relationship, to say the least. She's been on and off with her boyfriend for a few years, but never quite in a place to date other men, because that would mean letting go of the one she has... letting go of what she knows, and what she's grown accustomed to. The sad truth is, he's so far below her!
I had a relationship like that in college and I remember feeling trapped, yet too scared to do anything about it. I went to college, fell in love with (almost literally) the first man I met, repressed my instinct that he wasn't "good enough," and ended up wasting a year with him - wrought with confusion and heartache. This is a pattern I will not repeat.
TODAY'S FOCUS: If he's not worth taking home to momma, don't even entertain a first date. (Men, change "he" and "him" to "she" and "her." Heaven forbid I confuse you). I know this sounds harsh and perhaps even unrealistic, but it's the most efficient path to insure you marry someone with whom you're equally yoked. Nothing is more disappointing than spending time and energy on someone only to realize, after the dust has settled, that so did you.
Because it's so easy to fall in love, we'd better be careful of who we entertain along our path, because once the ball starts rolling it's nearly impossible to stop. Attraction may not be a choice, but how we handle attraction IS. Listen to, and follow, your gut instincts. Take some time to pin-point exactly what you want in a spouse, and then choose to date only those with congruent qualities. This will help you avoid dating just "anyone," accidentally falling in love, and then settling for far less than you deserve.
You marry who you date, simple as that. We've heard it since we were children, but it's one of those truths we don't fully comprehend until we're already under the bus - and then fear of the unknown keeps us there. The beauty is, if we never step in-front of the bus, we'll never end up under it.
QUOTE: "Always remember this: 'A kiss will never miss, and after many kisses a miss becomes a misses." -John Lennon
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