Day 78: Overcoming Loneliness

I just had a conversation with a divorced friend seeking advice. His biggest question: "How do you deal with the loneliness?" My reply? "Uh..." (cricket, cricket. lol). Of all people, I'm the least qualified to discuss dealing with loneliness - but then again I'm probably the least qualified to discuss most every topic I dive into, so here we go.

I always imagined loneliness to be a surreptitious intruder, waiting for the darkest hours of night to envelop me in his cold arms and smugly stroke my hair as I fall asleep. Turns out he's less scrupulous than that, and invades even in open daylight. I remember finding him last Thanksgiving as I was surrounded by all of my loved ones. Strangely, I'd never felt so alone. He crept up when Gracie took her first step. I was elated with her milestone, and devastated to have no-one to share it with. He finds me in moments of utter happiness, when the sun is shining and I'm on top of the world. What good is sitting on top of the world if loneliness is the only one sitting next to me? Following triumph, he blindsides me and snickers apathetically, "You're doing great! ... Too bad you're doing it alone."

Don't get me wrong, he's not lurking behind every good moment. Though I haven't found a solution to rid him completely, I have learned that his nagging grows faint as I involve myself in a worthwhile cause - so that's exactly what I try to do. I'm still interrupted by the occasional outburst... but he has spurred me on to worthwhile causes and a journey of self-discovery. Oh the soliloquies I've enjoyed.

TODAY'S FOCUS: Loneliness is inevitable but, when harnessed correctly, can become a gift which leads to self-discovery on a grand scale. As you come to know of your individuality, the pangs of loneliness transform into the pleasure of solitude and you escape the greatest loneliness of all - that of not knowing yourself.

Loneliness serves as an invitation for uninterrupted growth and, though a formidable journey, can help you uncover a cause to live for; An interest which, like a sponge, will absorb all of your attention and keep loneliness at a considerable distance. The greater your involvement, the wider the gap.

QUOTE: "Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone, and it has created the word solitude to express the glory of being alone." -Paul Tillich