Day 32: A Success Story: Changing Process for a Better Outcome

A few nights ago an absolutely stellar man asked me out for tonight. We didn't call it a date.... but we both knew it was. After much hesitation, I said yes. Then I said no. Then yes, and two seconds later no. I played tug-a-war a minute longer, my final verdict being yes. I slept on it, woke the next morning, and after silent deliberation called him back, only to say no. (Poor guy - I really put him through the wringer)!

His disappointment was palpable, but he held his tongue. I began to explain my reason for the change of mind - integrity - and it hit me; Integrity to what? I committed these 90 days to putting the affections of my heart upon the Lord, rather than a man. I committed to healing in a healthy manner, through positive sources. I committed to spending my time and energy in constructive outlets rather than dating. But what if I could do both?

I had just written yesterday's post and I realized I'd better find the courage to experiment on it... to practice what I preach and try focusing on outcome rather than process alone. The outcome is to heal and put the affections of my heart upon the Lord. The process was to push away all men and do it alone. But why couldn't I include a man in the process? Especially a great man?

I decided to put it to the test. It's incredibly cheesy, but I told him if he could come up with a service project, then we could go out, otherwise I needed to stay home and focus on doing something constructive and healing. You know what. He did. And I went. I enjoyed every second of it and was left incredibly fulfilled. The night ended beautifully, and he left around midnight with nothing more than a hug and nothing less than great respect.

Last night's experience was one of the most healing and hopeful since my divorce. Ironic. I guess that's the chance taken, when a chance is taken.

TODAY'S FOCUS: I'd like to expand on yesterday's post with this simple thought: If you're constantly aware of the desired outcome, the proper process will fall into place. Track and monitor what works, what doesn't work, and what could work with a little tweaking - then have the courage to act. Above all, be honest with yourself and admit whether you're moving one step forward or one step back. You can compromise process, but never compromise outcome - for outcome creates the foundation upon which character is built.

QUOTE: “Quality, quality, quality. Never waver from it, even when you don't see how you can afford to keep it up. When you compromise, you become a commodity and then you die." -Gary Hirshberg