Day 65: Growing pains

I'm going to bed physically and emotionally exhausted, yet completley satisfied! Today I faced my fears, head-on, and emerged victorious.

My x-husband was always humored by my self-assured attitude and over-confident determination. We'd be doing a little window shopping and I'd see a beautiful painting, then boldly state, "I could paint that." (Never mind the fact that I'd never picked up a paint brush in my life). We'd walk past a modern water-fountain or an artistic sink and I'd insist, "I could make that." If I saw a project of interest, I'd google it, read and research, then begin the task, admittedly leaving it half-finished while my attention was diverted to the next project. The truth is, I talk a big game, but it's not often I put myself out there and actually prove I can do what I think I can do. It's kinda scary, really. But today, I did.

A few months ago I was at a jewelry party when I thought to myself, "What a great way to make new girlfriends! I'd could do that. I'd be great at that." I decided that this was one time I was going to prove myself - perhaps more as an experiment than anything. Today was my first effort to do just that.

Have you ever approached something, dragging your feet the entire time, and knowing deep down that you were gonna quit before you even start? That was me. The task was dreaded, the anxiety overwhelming and my fear tangible. I almost gave up, and nearly called the whole thing off. Looking back, now, I feel so silly. It was much smaller than I had made it up to be, and my fears were completley unvalidated. Today I was courageous, humbled and fulfilled. Courageous because I faced my fears, humbled because I realized how fearful I was, and fulfilled because I overcame.

TODAY'S FOCUS: From the movie Shenandoah come the spoken words which inspire, “If we don’t try, we don’t do; and if we don’t do, then why are we here?” Growth occurs when we do things that stretch us, push us, and take us to the edge of uncomfortable. It's not a great place to be, but it's a wonderful place to look back on.

Truly, we don't know our limits until we muster the strength to face them, then as we experience success, a new door opens and the pattern continues, revealing doors we never knew existed. Until then, the adage holds true, "Fake it 'till you make it." Oft times, the most we can do is stand stand tall, and hope our shadow covers our fear.

QUOTE: "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon