Day 70: Don't take it personally

It's 9:04pm and I'm officially worn out! I just might make it to bed before midnight - unheard of. Today, while watching my friend's kids, we walked to the nearby grocery store so I could do some shopping as well as entertain and wear them out before nap-time. lol. Kill two birds with one stone. As we were checking out I remembered an experience from last week that has been on my mind.

I was waiting in the checkout line when I witnessed the most interesting scene unfold. The woman checking out was in a wheelchair and couldn't find her card to pay. As she took her sweet time looking for it, the next person was rung up and ready to pay - just waiting for the first woman to complete her transaction. (At this store, two can checkout at once and bag separately, because the conveyor belt splits into two directions). As she finally found her card she carried on small talk with the cashier, complaining about life in a wheelchair while swiping her card four times before realizing she was doing it wrong. The line grew antsy but feigned patience in an effort to be polite. Immediately after payment was accepted, the next woman swiped her card, clearly in a hurry to leave.

"People are so rude these days, don't ya think?" A passive aggressive statement, intended for the woman behind her. "No consideration for anything or anyone. Can't they see I'm in a wheelchair. How would they feel if they had to live in a wheelchair?"

"I'm sorry ma'am, are you implying I'm being rude?" said the second woman.

"Yes. Yes I am. I'm in a wheelchair and you're so inpatient. You're just plain rude."

"I apologize. I wasn't intending to be rude. I'm just in a hurry. My kids just got home from school and I'm not there to greet them. I didn't mean to offend you."

"Well you did. And now my day is ruined. It's not easy being in a wheelchair, ya know!"

"I'm sure it's not. I apologize and I hope your day gets better," she said sincerely, as she walked to her side of the conveyor belt and began quickly bagging her groceries.

"I need someone to bag my groceries. Isn't there any help around here? I'm in a wheelchair, can't people see that?" The cashier glanced at me and rolled her eyes, overtly irritated, as she called for help. "Society is so rude and people are so insensitive. I can't do this alone, ya know? I'm stuck in this wheelchair, how would you feel if..." Only then did she notice her groceries were nearly all bagged, and by the very woman she had yelled at 30 seconds prior. She fell silent, all tension melted away and her embarrassment was palpable.

"Thank you! That was very nice of you," she said, humbly.

"My pleasure."

"So, your kids are home from school?" The small talk began, in an effort to mend her tantrum.

"Yeah. We're adjusting to a new schedule. Dad's not around anymore, so life is always a little busy."

"Oh yeah? What happened? Did he get a new job?"

"No, no. He left me a few months ago. Got his secretary pregnant."

"Oh." An uncomfortable silence was present. "Well, you have your own complaints too, then, don't you."

"Yeah, but who doesn't. That's life, ya know."

The woman in the wheelchair thanked her, as she finished bagging her groceries and then gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "God bless you. Thank you. You are very kind."

I had to wonder how the busy mom must have felt as she walked out of there, knowing she had deflected anger geared toward her and met it with love rather than taking it personally.

TODAY'S FOCUS: People act on the outside, how the feel on the inside, and the better we understand that the easier it becomes to let possible offenses roll off our shoulders. The analogy holds true - many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and, if you let them, they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally, and refuse to spread their garbage unnecessarily to your friends, family and co-workers.

How often do we let other people's nonsense control our mood? Perhaps we let a bad driver, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin our day. This may set us back for a moment, but the mark of a successful person is how quickly they refocus on what's important. Smile, wave, wish the naysayer well, and let the garbage-truck pass by. You'll be happy you did.

QUOTE: "How you treat others is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself." -Amber Deckers